The Envelope Please

Riley thinks we should inject a little ceremony and gravitas into the last day of school. And I agree! He was lamenting the departure of his kids before he was able to properly see them off, but "luckily", my last day of classes is Thursday. I thought it would be cute to think of an award for everyone.

Awards I might give out if I can think of a few more:

• The Heat Seeking Missile - for the Best Pattern-Noticer
• The Bulldog - for the Most Tenacious Problem Solver
• The Honorary TA - for the most prolific/effective peer tutors
• The Librarian - "Sshhh! You guys! I'm trying to LEARN!"
• The Scion of Pythagoras - for the most beautiful compass and straight-edge constructions
• The Helpdesk - for the angels I can put on tech support duty on computer days
• The Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A - for the nerdiest t-shirts

I am still working on it. I have two whole days. I'll get there. But I had lots of other ideas.

Awards it would be impolitic to give but amuse me nonetheless:

• The Your Tutor Gets an A+ Award - for the highest discrepancy between grades on in-class and take-home assignments
• The Draco Malfoy - for s/he with the parent that made the most threats
• This is Not the Phone You're Looking For - for the stealthiest texter
• The Deanna Troi - for the Cleverest Hans
• You Make Me Die Inside A Little - for the kid who tells me things like 0 is a solution to (x+3)/2x = (x-2)/x because undefined = undefined.
• Are You Taking a Class Called 'Advanced Field Trip'? - for the most excused absences
• The I Love You Man - For the girl who writes something like MISSNOWEEZIE IS THE BOMBDIGGITY on the whiteboard every freaking day.