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Monday, March 2, 2009

The Potential Snow Day Survival Guide

This was originally written as a gentle ribbing of my downstate colleagues, who let out a collective "wtf" last week when a school day was called way too late. I wasn't happy with the potential for hurt feelings. I have toned down the rhetoric but for my own amusement would still like to humbly offer....

Potential Snow Day Survival Guide

  1. If a snow day is suspected, watch the 11pm news. This way you can tell if there's anything to even get excited about. The newscast gives you the best picture about the inches of snow that will fall at what time. is not going to cut it. You are looking for heavy snowfall starting around 3AM and continuing throughout the morning. Something the plows won't be able to keep up with, at just the right time.
  2. If you drive to work, park your car facing out. Preferably at the top of a hill. That way you will be able to just brush it off and barrel out with minimal digging.
  3. Calculate the last possible minute you can stay in bed and still make it to work when you absolutely have to be there. Not a half hour early, like you normally do. The last possible minute. (Take into account that the commute might take longer in bad weather.) For me this is 6:22.
  4. Set your clock radio to go off 10 minutes before that time. Tune it to a news/weather station.
  5. When your alarm goes off, don't hit the snooze. Listen to the radio. Drape your hand over it, so you can turn it off as soon as your school is called. With a little practice, you will not have to open your eyes during this part.
  6. Either your school is called... (turn off radio, roll over, go back to sleep. optional: point and laugh at anyone living with you who has to go to work.)
  7. Or it's not called by your absolute last-possible minute. In which case...
  8. Take a radio into the bathroom with you. Play it loud enough so you can hear it in the shower. Take it into the kitchen while you make and eat breakfast.
  9. Sometimes even though you take all these precautions, they still call it after you are out the door. That is very annoying.
  10. The day is yours! Go back to bed if you want, or make pancakes, or a snowman. Enjoy!